Soul Searching.

"Time is a confinement created by man. 60 seconds of happiness fly by - 60 seconds of pain drag on. Make every single second you are given joyful and take absolutely nothing for granted."
- Brittni Lyn

Humble Moments.

Just a quick reflection…walking into Stewart’s just now, I saw a man sitting outside looking…well, defeated. He said good evening, so I responded…asking him how he’s doing tonight. “Not well.” he responded. “I’m cold, I’m hungry, and I’m rundown. I could really use a break and a beer.” I asked him if he wanted a hotdog and a blanket, I could grab it from home. “No, thanks.” he said. “I’m ok.”

So I went about my business in Stewart’s. Grabbed some milk and some cat food and chatted with the cashier for a few. When I came back out, he asked me if I’d be willing to spare any change. To be honest, I hesitated for a moment. Not because I was reluctant to give, but because his comment about a beer crossed my mind. I thought for a moment, ‘What if I give him this five and he buys a beer?’ Then I realized it really doesn’t matter. Firstly, that’d be a reflection on his character, not mine. Secondly…you never know who could be an Angel in disguise.

A few weeks ago there was a message at church that has really stuck with me. To sum it up in two words? Practice hospitality. No matter who you come across and what kind of person they might be - always work to be a positive, happy and loving person. There are challenges in that perspective. Some people can push your buttons just right and tempt you to let them know how you really feel, or what you really think. Trust me, I know. But you cannot control how others act. You can, however - impact them.

Now I’m not posting this because I’m seeking affirmation of a good deed, because I want likes or because I want to brag. His thanks and smile were enough to satisfy me. I’m sharing because as I walked into my warm stable safe home, I was immediately humbled. And I thought to myself, ‘It’s funny how God’s messages are always right on time.’

We are all human. We need to treat each other as such.

Oh and by the way, I’m sitting at my dining room table typing this…and I have a clear view of Stewart’s from my window. I’m happy to say that as I wrote this up I watched this gentleman come outside with a bag of chips and a sub. 

Stay Blessed y’all. Spread the light.

Speechless.

I wish I could find the words to express just how much you mean to me.

Yet no matter how many times I sit down with this pen in my hand, what comes out onto my paper does no justice. The most beautiful words known to man fall short of describing the way you raise my spirits with a simple hello…One could say you leave me speechless. 

I Said A Prayer For You Today.

I said a prayer for you today, in hopes your heart would feel it.

I prayed you smile once or twice, and that someone makes you laugh. I prayed you’re reminded of those who love you here, across the miles oh so vast. And I prayed that the time left for you to be away feels like it passes quickly.

I prayed that if your day is difficult, you rely on His Grace to get you through, and if it’s a good one you thank Him for the blessings that have come your way. I prayed He places His guiding hand on your shoulder and keeps you protected while you’re away from home. And that regardless of the weather outside, some sunshine makes it’s way to you. 

I prayed your appetite’s satisfied and your rest is sufficient so you may be clear and focused on your duties, and that at the end of the day you remember to be thankful for your daily breaths.

I prayed that you remember to take a moment, to take it all in, and remember just how loved and missed you are each and every day.

I prayed that for your peace of mind, and a strong and steady heart.

I prayed hardest though, for the day He sends you home to me so I can hold you in my arms and never let you go again.

I said a prayer for you today. 

A Mother’s Tribute

Her laughter is my medicine.
Her smile’s my reason.
The desire to deserve her love drives me to push harder.
Her innocence makes me work
to be a better person,
and her unconditional love reminds me
to be lenient with forgiveness.
She softens my heart
when the world makes it harden
and she helps me to smile
through all of my darkness.
Life’s troubles will never reach her fingertips
because I will always fight to keep it at bay
and no matter where she goes in life
she’ll always have a place with me.
I will never try to hinder her but I’ll be sure she knows
that regardless of her journeys she will never be alone.
The love she’s brought to my world
is something that without her would be unthinkable.
But now that she’s here it’s all that I need and all that I want.
She’s made my battleship unsinkable.
She is my shining star - my greatest creation,
the breath of life I needed when I had nothing left.
She is my daughter.
My beautiful, beautiful daughter.
And while I gave her her life, she gave mine purpose.
And for that I am forever thankful.

Imprisoning Thoughts.

And all the nights I’ve spent dreaming of your smile
have been replaced with empty rooms inside my mind
that as I walk through slowly,
cautiously,
searching for a trace of you -
seem to shrink with every step I take until I am bent in half
unable to move,
trapped in my own thoughts.
And though I know you did this to me
as I lay here paralyzed,
all I yearn to do is call out your name
and hear you answer.
Sweet whispers of empty promises,
I cling onto for dear life.
Breathing is a challenge now that you’ve slipped away.
But I will inhale, then exhale (sigh)
and as I do I’ll fight these bonds that hold me down
and I will force myself to find the courage
to FINALLY tell my stupid heart that she was
so, so wrong.
You live and you learn
but I am sick of this lesson playing over and over in my head.
For so long I’ve been lost,
trying to find where it was you disappeared to.
But finally I have decided to stand up and brush off
my bruised and scraped up knees
and though I may tremble
and my steps may be slow,
I will finally walk away.
And though the Devil may try to tempt me…
I am never looking back again.